2016-12-10 09:38:30 UTC
put it for now, I guess I'll be putting it here.
It starts with me sitting on the crapper and suddenly, when I'm wiping
myself clean I find myself sitting on my balcony. Now my balcony is
reasonably well protected against prying eyes thanks to my continuous
efforts to conceal myself, so even though it was a bit airy I suppose I
wasn't too bothered about my privacy.
However then things started to get even weirder. I noticed someone
below my balcony pulling up some small branches of a tree, leaves still
on them, using a rope that, I don't know, was supported from above me,
maybe it was affixed to a flying drone, or maybe something on my roof.
I started to get a bit more worried now. Then the weeds came down, and
when they went up again they were on fire. But not only were the weeds
on fire, suddenly there was also a guy hanging from a rope in front of
my balcony, climbing on it altogether.
As I was trying to fight off the guy, not very successfully, I noticed
that just below the burning bush there was a small camera also hanging
from that rope. Somehow the camera had managed to get into my room
through the open balcony door.
The guy I was fighting with, noticing that I noticed the camera, said
"such a monkeyhuman!". At that point I got this sinking feeling that
everything that had happened up to then was some elaborate scheme
whereby I was to be distracted and that even now I couldn't be sure
that all the things I had noticed weren't what it was about either.
I also seemed completely unable to do something about the guy on my
balcony, hitting them didn't seem to work, maybe throw him off the
balcony would get me into even bigger trouble?
Usually I am of the opinion that dreams are trying to tell us things,
and frankly, most of the time I am smart enough to realize what it is
during the dream itself, or at least in that graceful moment between
sleep and being awake in which one is still able to go back into the
dream and set things right.
But this dream, only that I am sitting here now, typing things out, it
somewhat starts to become clear. I am also helped by this other weird
phenomenon that whatever I am currently engaged with, suddenly it or
its echo appears on my computer screen via an apparently random
sequence of browsing events.
Of course in this case, that wasn't very encouraging, the reasons of
which I will try to explain below.
See, for some time I have been trying to prevent all kinds of
information about me leaking out, to search engines, websites I click
links from, government or semi-government questionnaires, people
trying to install smoke detectors in my personal rooms, whatever.
But now it has dawned on me that all these peeking efforts are not what
it is really really about and I might be missing the point somehow.
This dream reminds me of another dream my father once told me he had,
about how when he was looking for bicycle parts at some recycling site
(in the dream but it's something he did for real too sometimes) when a
few bulldozers moved piles of material in such a way that he couldn't
get his car out again.
It is about one's deepest fears and how to confront them.
I don't know how my dad confronted his fears, except that at some point
he switched from making some extra money by creating bicycles out of
scratch materials to raising guppies and other fish in big aquaria all
over our house; he made some profit on selling them but maybe it was
also about trying to experiment with some form of hobbyist genetic
For me, this dream means that, especially now I'm reading
about posthumans treating personal identities as some kind of props to
navigate the social sphere, dominated as it is with unaccountable
hierarchies, maybe it is time for me to stop hiding and instead reverse
the spear and start using all these efforts of control against their
sources as a kind of information judo.
No longer will I be myself, and no longer will I even try to hide,
instead I will spew ludicrous amounts of data so as to put everyone
trying to follow my trail on a never ending deluge of false tracks.
But can I even do this and won't I just draw nearer to the end as I am
bound to lose against a real or virtual army of bots or scripts
gathering information about me, trying to get into my inner loops,
utterly disturbing my plans, only to get some silly message across,
like "Would you buy some tooth paste?".
"Toothpaste? For a dinosaur? You must be joking."