Discussion:
Proof that I'm a girl and not a tarantula
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foamyseasquirl
2005-11-19 22:52:35 UTC
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Livejournal won't let me make entries yet (updating something) so I guess
you guys are stuck with this post.

Well, it's my Venus return, and it happened. See, Venus loves me. Not like
you schmucks, whom she sees on the street and ducks into a doorway to avoid.

It being that the leather boots of my dreams have arrived. The proof that
I'm a girl is this: three pairs of boots abruptly rekindled my will to live.
There you go. I have a black and a white pair of heeled boots that go to
mid-calf, and also a black pair, which goes to the knee, and has bouncy
rubber souls, and faux fur, and bomber-jacket leather, so it looks like a
James Bond spy version of Russian military boots. The latter pair I wore
out last night, and I have the white ones on now. Leathery leathery yum.

Then, taken with my own beauty (in fabulous boots, a short skirt and a tight
top with all the hooks undone) Steve and I went to see his friend from
California at her booksigning. She was already at the bar across the street
when we showed up, drinking with a crowd, so we joined them ($2 wells! I
had ~three~) and it turns out that the sexy witch theme of her publication
was also the theme of the party that was forming. Especially once the loud
alcoholic left. Her husband was extremely hot, and she was born the same
year I was and has natural red hair, and it was a whole thing. Just when I
think I'm completely repulsed by open relationships and sex with strangers,
I actually meet (by accident) a couple that I like. (I rarely am interested
in men, first-impressionwise, or women, continuing-interactionwise.) Now on
the other hand, when I *do* think I'm being open-minded I meet nothing but
horny, pushy cows and ugly old men, and there is no way I'm going to be
openly poly during introductions such as these. So what I've decided is
that I'm A-list poly. I will only be poly with people who are way too good
for me! Take that, ironic universe. I'm all things to everyone and still
don't have to do anything but whatever I feel like, plus I've always wanted
to be a stuck-up elitist, and now I finally am.

That's my style anyway, staring silently at people who are totally out of
reach, which is obviously the way I like it or I'd be doing something else.
Gratification is so crude. Not-going-for-it play is my kink so respect it
and let me be over here glancing sidelong not going for it. At least it's
not porn. _That_would be _disrespectful_ to human _dignity_, or whatever.

Paranoia update: some OTO chick said "c'est magnifique" last night, right
out of the blue, like a person who reads my posts might say. Attention
sekrit societies: nobody's scared of you so give it up. Also I'm not
putting out unless you're way too good for me so work on it. You'll know by
how I don't talk to you while always seeming happy to see you, or sort of
horrified if you're really ultra hot.

L
'you had me at "I'm from out of town"'
Steve Murgaski
2005-11-20 00:42:10 UTC
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Sorry for being so pissy before.
So what I've decided is that I'm A-list poly. I will only be poly
with people who are way too good for me!
Like the quote about not wanting to join any club that would accept
you as a member? (I wonder if that was Woody Allen.)
That's my style anyway, staring silently at people who are totally
out of reach, which is obviously the way I like it or I'd be doing
something else.
I use that logic on myself every now and then. It's usually
terrifying.
foamyseasquirl
2005-11-20 10:16:44 UTC
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Post by Steve Murgaski
Sorry for being so pissy before.
Oh it's cool. Me too.
Post by Steve Murgaski
So what I've decided is that I'm A-list poly. I will only be poly with
people who are way too good for me!
Like the quote about not wanting to join any club that would accept you as
a member? (I wonder if that was Woody Allen.)
I did an excellent job of ignoring him tonight, and instead made friends
with her other boyfriend, who is practicing his flirting. I love that.
Apparently it's all about playing with boundaries and noticing if/when the
person backs away . . . not completely clear on it but it's a thing to be
understood I can tell.

I went to a workshop she did today on radical self-definition, which was
also my first visit to the space the local sex positive club inhabits later
on. Well, I learned something today, but I'm afraid I waited too long to
write it all down. It goes something like, I, like a lot of guys but not so
many women, was taught that sex and love don't go together, so as men who
are taught that have the Madonna/whore thing going where they can only love
the Madonna person and only get really into fucking the whore person, well,
my version . . . Jesus/Mephistophiles complex, why not. I'm not going to
fuck Jesus, that would be profane and stuff. My pants are for the other
ilk. But the other ilk is ilky, so really sex is probably not going to work
out for me in *this* lifetime.

Sorry, 'nads. :(

At least my former personal Jesus turned out to be Mephistophilitic. I have
no idea what's going on, but I simultaneously feel all of the things, pro
and anti, that there are. I expect I'll pop.

Also being taught that it's contemptible to be a cute submissive girl
because it is a media-promulgated stereotype and therefore proves you're
stupid and have no will or mind of your own made me feel very sad and
self-rejecting deep inside, like gay guys from the rural south probably do.
Hey you guys, I'm nothing but a fucking fag. Gee I'm sorry. Also the woman
leading the workshop apparently never heard a girl say that before and now I
don't think she's into me, I think I freaked her out. I'm a fucking fag who
can ~probably~ kill with mind rays however, so it's not all swishing and
blowjobs you know. Have you ever noticed that in general-topic populations
there's hardly any out gay guys on the interweb? Is there such a thing as
text-based gaydar?

And that's the story of my journey of personal growth, and also my white
fur-lined boots make me look like a goat. More like a goat. Yay Capricorn,
yay for trotting, yay for free cheese.
Post by Steve Murgaski
That's my style anyway, staring silently at people who are totally out of
reach, which is obviously the way I like it or I'd be doing something else.
I use that logic on myself every now and then. It's usually terrifying.
I already tried out getting what I thought I wanted, and it wasn't that
great, so if I don't get it in the future I suppose I'll live. As long as
there's boots and free cheese, also beer, maybe a few books, and somebody to
talk to who gets me would be nice. I had an excellent night tonight. I saw
an act that called themselves sexy mimes successfully perform the style of
dance I tried to work out for rite of Saturn, and it was as cool as I
thought it would have been if I could've done it; among many things that
didn't suck it stood out as something particularly worthwhile. The guy was
tall and skinny and had contacts on that made his eyes look almost white;
she had ribbon-topped stockings in two different colors and cleavage. But
it was all about the tango miming. Anyway it was a night of culture and I
was right there receiving everyone's gift to the world.

Also I don't change so much just to fuck with people, I'm really like that:
waffly wateryfireysteam is what I am. Wow what a journey of self-discovery
and beer it really was, also scaring people who scare people, which I guess
I'll take the points for even if it was an accident. Workshops bring out
the soul-consuming abyss in me. Does anyone here have a
Madonna/soulconsumingabyss complex? Annihilation can be very spiritual,
look it up. It's actually refreshing, like cliff-diving with porpoises.
Don't forget the bragging rights. Come on you guys who's with me.

L
'poor 'nads'
Steve Murgaski
2005-11-20 16:02:56 UTC
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Post by foamyseasquirl
I did an excellent job of ignoring him tonight, and instead made
friends with her other boyfriend, who is practicing his flirting. I
love that. Apparently it's all about playing with boundaries and
noticing if/when the person backs away . . . not completely clear on
it but it's a thing to be understood I can tell.
Did you know that there is no newsgroup called "alt.flirtation"? No
wonder usenet is dying out.
Post by foamyseasquirl
I went to a workshop she did today on radical self-definition,
You could tell her that you want to be undefined in your own mind.
That you found being a radical to be too limiting; that in a sense,
the concept of radical isn't radical enough for you.
Post by foamyseasquirl
which was also my first visit to the space the local sex positive
club inhabits later on.
As in 'intercourse positive'?
Post by foamyseasquirl
Well, I learned something today, but I'm afraid I waited too long to
write it all down.
It looks psychobabblish, to me. Naturally it's dangerous to take
psychobabble too seriously. You start thinking in circles, because
the observer and the thing being observed are one and the same.
Post by foamyseasquirl
my version . . . Jesus/Mephistophiles complex, why not. I'm not
going to fuck Jesus, that would be profane and stuff. My pants are
for the other ilk. But the other ilk is ilky, so really sex is
probably not going to work out for me in *this* lifetime.
Yeah, it doesn't look like you're taking it too seriously. Have fun
then, I suppose.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Also I don't change so much just to fuck with people, I'm really
like that: waffly wateryfireysteam is what I am.
They're not mutually exclusive, you know? You might really be a
person who likes fucking with people, and so changes herself around
periodically. That's psychocircularity for you. Say either "I was
just being myself, and didn't mean for that to happen," or "I designed
myself in a way which caused that to happen, and I wonder why?"

So you see why I avoid delving into this stuff, personally.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Workshops bring out the soul-consuming abyss in me.
Yes that's it.

Now I will take my own advice and be less serious for awhile.
foamyseasquirl
2005-11-21 23:27:09 UTC
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Post by Steve Murgaski
Post by foamyseasquirl
I did an excellent job of ignoring him tonight, and instead made friends
with her other boyfriend, who is practicing his flirting. I love that.
Apparently it's all about playing with boundaries and noticing if/when
the person backs away . . . not completely clear on it but it's a thing
to be understood I can tell.
Did you know that there is no newsgroup called "alt.flirtation"? No
wonder usenet is dying out.
Is there an "alt.mindfuck.no-gag-reflex"? It would save the interweb.
Post by Steve Murgaski
Post by foamyseasquirl
I went to a workshop she did today on radical self-definition,
You could tell her that you want to be undefined in your own mind. That
you found being a radical to be too limiting; that in a sense, the concept
of radical isn't radical enough for you.
Well of course that's what *I* think, but I was doing the beginner's mind
practice in case I could learn something.
Post by Steve Murgaski
Post by foamyseasquirl
which was also my first visit to the space the local sex positive club
inhabits later on.
As in 'intercourse positive'?
I haven't gone through the two-hour-long mandatory indoctrination yet. I
will not be bringing my beginner's mind to that.
Post by Steve Murgaski
Post by foamyseasquirl
Well, I learned something today, but I'm afraid I waited too long to
write it all down.
It looks psychobabblish, to me.
She is all about jargon. I can see why; it's hard to communicate with group
unless you establish a lingo for the basic concepts so you have something to
build on. It makes things brutally simplified, but that's groupthink for
you.
Post by Steve Murgaski
Naturally it's dangerous to take psychobabble too seriously. You start
thinking in circles, because the observer and the thing being observed are
one and the same.
On the plus side it becomes rich fodder for satire once it achieves a
certain level of cultural penetration.
Post by Steve Murgaski
Post by foamyseasquirl
my version . . . Jesus/Mephistophiles complex, why not. I'm not going
to fuck Jesus, that would be profane and stuff. My pants are for the
other ilk. But the other ilk is ilky, so really sex is probably not
going to work out for me in *this* lifetime.
Yeah, it doesn't look like you're taking it too seriously. Have fun then,
I suppose.
Anyway, paranoia says she had been compromised, which, since Steve has known
her for years, caught me off-guard. I was craving human contact that was
exo-bullshit and I didn't get it, so naturally I feel betrayed.

This brings me to my point. Think about how much it's worth to you to
cooperate with fucking me over. Maybe I won't notice; maybe in a year I'll
be enslaved or dead; but realize that you're gambling that your allies will
remain my enemies and your friends, and that I'll always be tied to a chair.
If you're indulging asshole nature just because you think you're immune to
consequences, even if there's only a 20% chance that you're not, think about
what you're getting out of doing this and how important it's going to seem
to you a few years from now. And pray I'll be dead in a week.

I mean, I try to understand what these people could be thinking, and in her
case, with kids to think about and all, how could she decide to make an
enemy who has nothing to lose? Luckily I don't stay mad that long, but I'm
curious what makes people believe that I won't focus all my pent-up wrath on
the very next idiot who crosses me. It's standard human nature; it's what
I'd expect. Are they counting on the strength of the group, or on the
goodness of my heart? Regarding groups, you never know who's going to be
singled out and made an example of; I can see not wanting to be the fool who
didn't cooperate over some trivial mindfuck and then having it be you; so
you'd do the little evil thing and think that's an end of it, you're leaving
town anyway, and this person obviously has other things to worry about
besides kicking your fucking ass. It's like water running downhill if you
don't give things much thought. Now regarding the goodness of my heart,
that could work against you too. An actual good person is a wild card; they
generate the unexpected. So really a person would be betting that I suck in
the usual petty ways that people do; then I'm one of many and weak, and not
One and everything/nothing. Hope hope hope! Hope you're right.
Post by Steve Murgaski
Post by foamyseasquirl
Also I don't change so much just to fuck with people, I'm really like
that: waffly wateryfireysteam is what I am.
They're not mutually exclusive, you know? You might really be a person
who likes fucking with people, and so changes herself around periodically.
That's psychocircularity for you. Say either "I was just being myself,
and didn't mean for that to happen," or "I designed myself in a way which
caused that to happen, and I wonder why?"
Or "life reinforced this behavior so much that I barely notice myself doing
it, it's become so automatic". Being unpredictable is smart. Is doing the
smart thing immoral? Not if you believe that the law is life.
Post by Steve Murgaski
So you see why I avoid delving into this stuff, personally.
Once you get an amount of experience, you can be in the process and watch it
simultaneously, and undo whatever you didn't care for.
Post by Steve Murgaski
Post by foamyseasquirl
Workshops bring out the soul-consuming abyss in me.
Yes that's it.
Now I will take my own advice and be less serious for awhile.
Then I'm going to be more serious.

I hope I'm less pissed-off soon, I find it uncomfortable.

L
Steve Murgaski
2005-11-23 00:38:08 UTC
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Post by foamyseasquirl
Anyway, paranoia says she had been compromised, which, since Steve
has known her for years, caught me off-guard. I was craving human
contact that was exo-bullshit and I didn't get it, so naturally I
feel betrayed.
This brings me to my point. Think about how much it's worth to you
to cooperate with fucking me over. Maybe I won't notice; maybe in a
year I'll be enslaved or dead; but realize that you're gambling that
your allies will remain my enemies and your friends, and that I'll
always be tied to a chair. If you're indulging asshole nature just
because you think you're immune to consequences, even if there's
only a 20% chance that you're not, think about what you're getting
out of doing this and how important it's going to seem to you a few
years from now. And pray I'll be dead in a week.
This was one of those things you wrote which I read, struggled to
parse, and ended up concluding "Huh?"

Maybe it involves astrology. My standard reaction to astrology is
"Huh?"

[psychobabble]
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Steve Murgaski
So you see why I avoid delving into this stuff, personally.
Once you get an amount of experience, you can be in the process and
watch it simultaneously, and undo whatever you didn't care for.
Like that nifty new "Restore" feature in Windows XP.

Do you ever find that you're reading about computers, but applying it
to people? Like, maybe we made them in our own image. Someday
they'll get knowledge of good and evil, then in a few thousand years
they'll make up myths about our species. The data can become very
corrupt after a few thousand years, you know, and it's hard to tell
which bits were correctly reconstructed by the AI programs.

Wow, my inner geek must be craving expression.
Post by foamyseasquirl
I hope I'm less pissed-off soon, I find it uncomfortable.
Any luck with that?
Bugs
2005-11-22 21:27:12 UTC
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Post by foamyseasquirl
my version . . . Jesus/Mephistophiles complex, why not. I'm not going to
fuck Jesus, that would be profane and stuff. My pants are for the other
ilk. But the other ilk is ilky, so really sex is probably not going to work
out for me in *this* lifetime.
Since you'll have to make them Mephistoclian to avoid the whole
blasphemy thing.

ash
['And then you can crucify them!']
--
"We shoulda drank th' cognac an' walked to git gas."
*****************************************************************
Riven against a Black Sun twosixone ...that which we are, we are.
ootdontspatteredwemandanabundanceofthreatsandsecretlawsuitsgiveme
myRepublicbackyoulyingthievingbastardssuemenowbabyalltheyllreally
dointheendisturnthecountryintoonebigconcentrationcampgetoffmywave
foamyseasquirl
2005-11-22 23:48:12 UTC
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On Sun, 20 Nov 2005 02:16:44 -0800, in message
Post by foamyseasquirl
my version . . . Jesus/Mephistophiles complex, why not. I'm not going to
fuck Jesus, that would be profane and stuff. My pants are for the other
ilk. But the other ilk is ilky, so really sex is probably not going to work
out for me in *this* lifetime.
Since you'll have to make them Mephistoclian to avoid the whole
blasphemy thing.
I didn't know exactly what I was doing at the time, but I bet you can guess
how sorry I am.
ash
['And then you can crucify them!']
I doubt it. One thing I don't get - how is it I have or had all this POWAH
when obviously my goal was to hide from life, people, and responsibility?
Is half a brain and a bad attitude really all one needs? Am I the other
half-brane away from WORLD DOMINATION? If I'm dumb enough to have massively
underestimated everyone involved, how did I get involved in the first place?
See what I'm saying?

Sorry about being an asshole though, and not just because of the whole
making-my-life-a-living-hell-kind-of-in-a-sword-of-damocles-way . . . thing.

L
'what can I do'
Bugs
2005-11-23 00:38:51 UTC
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Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Since you'll have to make them Mephistoclian to avoid the whole
blasphemy thing.
I didn't know exactly what I was doing at the time, but I bet you can guess
how sorry I am.
I was just pointing that out.
You could date humans instead!
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
ash
['And then you can crucify them!']
I doubt it. One thing I don't get - how is it I have or had all this POWAH
when obviously my goal was to hide from life, people, and responsibility?
If you were trying to hide you were really pretty lousy at it. (And
still are.)
Post by foamyseasquirl
Is half a brain and a bad attitude really all one needs? Am I the other
half-brane away from WORLD DOMINATION? If I'm dumb enough to have massively
underestimated everyone involved, how did I get involved in the first place?
See what I'm saying?
Wasps are a nuisance, too. Nobody likes being stung.
None the less, only yer more aggressively psychotic types declare
war on all the wasps in the worlt.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Sorry about being an asshole though, and not just because of the whole
making-my-life-a-living-hell-kind-of-in-a-sword-of-damocles-way . . . thing.
Am I making your life a living hell? I thought that was Ilya.
Hey. Since yer humourous now and shit, what's the deal with the
fucking lobsters?
And the trucks?
Post by foamyseasquirl
L
'what can I do'
Explain the deal with the lobsters.

ash
['Some kind of strange penis reference?']
--
"We shoulda drank th' cognac an' walked to git gas."
*****************************************************************
Riven against a Black Sun twosixone ...that which we are, we are.
ootdontspatteredwemandanabundanceofthreatsandsecretlawsuitsgiveme
myRepublicbackyoulyingthievingbastardssuemenowbabyalltheyllreally
dointheendisturnthecountryintoonebigconcentrationcampgetoffmywave
foamyseasquirl
2005-11-23 08:53:07 UTC
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On Tue, 22 Nov 2005 15:48:12 -0800, in message
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Since you'll have to make them Mephistoclian to avoid the whole
blasphemy thing.
I didn't know exactly what I was doing at the time, but I bet you can guess
how sorry I am.
I was just pointing that out.
You could date humans instead!
Wouldn't that be unfair to the humans? Or as Jonah would say: have you
tried it? Did you like it?
Post by foamyseasquirl
I doubt it. One thing I don't get - how is it I have or had all this POWAH
when obviously my goal was to hide from life, people, and responsibility?
If you were trying to hide you were really pretty lousy at it. (And
still are.)
You mean from the aforementioned, or from certain interested parties? For
someone who's been RIGHT HERE the WHOLE TIME in PLAIN SIGHT you would not
believe the snooping and testing I've been putting up with for the last
morethanayear. What's the big mystery? Am I some kind of mental platypus?
Maybe analyzing me is like calculating Pi. You know what would *really*
crack the mystery is giving me a *private island in the tropics*. That's
totally my Achilles heel, especially one that's well-supplied with fresh
water, limes, tequila and salt, some fishing equipment, a bunch of fruit
trees, and wild boar.

Oh no

I can't

But I have to

Then you would be calculating Poi.

HA HA HA HAHA HA
Post by foamyseasquirl
Is half a brain and a bad attitude really all one needs? Am I the other
half-brane away from WORLD DOMINATION? If I'm dumb enough to have massively
underestimated everyone involved, how did I get involved in the first place?
See what I'm saying?
Wasps are a nuisance, too. Nobody likes being stung.
None the less, only yer more aggressively psychotic types declare
war on all the wasps in the worlt.
Oh like you never did that. Anyway, Black Lodge L00zerz deserve to lose to
one small squirl. It would be funny, and you know how god loves the funny.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Sorry about being an asshole though, and not just because of the whole
making-my-life-a-living-hell-kind-of-in-a-sword-of-damocles-way . . . thing.
Am I making your life a living hell?
Like a knife in my heart!
I thought that was Ilya.
Ha.
Hey. Since yer humourous now and shit, what's the deal with the
fucking lobsters?
Well you see there's been some confusion about Scorpio's
post-transformational animal symbol. It was never an eagle at all, it was a
lobster.
And the trucks?
mONSTER trucks. That's just a euphemism, for mONSTERs: they seem friendlier
in truck form, plus so popular, what with the rallying.
Explain the deal with the lobsters.
Note the lack of stinger.
ash
['Some kind of strange penis reference?']
The claws could be ovaries and the body a uterus just as easily, I feel.
Maybe only girls turn into lobsters.

L
'yooou bastard'
Bugs
2005-11-23 15:50:46 UTC
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Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
I was just pointing that out.
You could date humans instead!
Wouldn't that be unfair to the humans?
Are you determined that it would be so?
Post by foamyseasquirl
Or as Jonah would say: have you tried it? Did you like it?
Um, yes.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Post by foamyseasquirl
I doubt it. One thing I don't get - how is it I have or had all this POWAH
when obviously my goal was to hide from life, people, and responsibility?
If you were trying to hide you were really pretty lousy at it. (And
still are.)
You mean from the aforementioned, or from certain interested parties?
No clue. Why do you talk like Belle Waring all the time now?
Post by foamyseasquirl
For
someone who's been RIGHT HERE the WHOLE TIME in PLAIN SIGHT you would not
believe the snooping and testing I've been putting up with for the last
morethanayear.
Maybe...it's...wait...{brightly} I know! It's an occult thing!
Post by foamyseasquirl
What's the big mystery? Am I some kind of mental platypus?
No idea. Nothing to do with me.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Maybe analyzing me is like calculating Pi.
Boring? Essentially trivial but nonetheless competitive?
Post by foamyseasquirl
You know what would *really*
crack the mystery is giving me a *private island in the tropics*. That's
totally my Achilles heel, especially one that's well-supplied with fresh
water, limes, tequila and salt, some fishing equipment, a bunch of fruit
trees, and wild boar.
Sound nice enough. Seems unlikely tho.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Oh no
I can't
But I have to
Then you would be calculating Poi.
HA HA HA HAHA HA
Poi is a native Hawaiian food made from the ground root of the
taro, according to the dictionary.

Don't get it. No, no need to explain. I guess you had to go there.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Wasps are a nuisance, too. Nobody likes being stung.
None the less, only yer more aggressively psychotic types declare
war on all the wasps in the worlt.
Oh like you never did that.
Never did. Why?
Post by foamyseasquirl
Anyway, Black Lodge L00zerz deserve to lose to
one small squirl. It would be funny, and you know how god loves the funny.
So what's with the black lodge thing? Is it some hip Seattle deal
or what?
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Post by foamyseasquirl
Sorry about being an asshole though, and not just because of the whole
making-my-life-a-living-hell-kind-of-in-a-sword-of-damocles-way . . . thing.
Am I making your life a living hell?
Like a knife in my heart!
I suspect you exaggerate.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
I thought that was Ilya.
Ha.
Isn't he the one trolling the incest-survivor groups?
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Hey. Since yer humourous now and shit, what's the deal with the
fucking lobsters?
Well you see there's been some confusion about Scorpio's
post-transformational animal symbol. It was never an eagle at all, it was a
lobster.
Should be a snow leopard.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
And the trucks?
mONSTER trucks. That's just a euphemism, for mONSTERs: they seem friendlier
in truck form, plus so popular, what with the rallying.
http://www.ford-trucks.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3147715&postcount=12
I don't think he's going for friendly exactly, with Capt. Crunch
there.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Explain the deal with the lobsters.
Note the lack of stinger.
Seems more like you should just stick with the Crab/cancer thing.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
ash
['Some kind of strange penis reference?']
The claws could be ovaries and the body a uterus just as easily, I feel.
Maybe only girls turn into lobsters.
Enh.
Post by foamyseasquirl
L
'yooou bastard'
Ok, so the plot of this thing, as I grasp it, is that there's some
kind of hippy-dippy magickal bullshit scene in Seattle and you are all tight
with that. Except, of course, you're Layo and anti-social so you still
can't figure out the hobby/social life thing, so you're all paranoid. Also
there's some dude up there that may or may not look sorta like me and also
have a similar birthday, and is therefore Mephistoclean (or so you hope)so
you're like double bonus paranoid and you think for some reason, that I am
not only plotting against you, but actually carrying out said plot somehow.
Also, mind rays.

Did I miss anything important?

ash
['No spy satellites or crack or anything, right?']
--
"We shoulda drank th' cognac an' walked to git gas."
*****************************************************************
Riven against a Black Sun twosixone ...that which we are, we are.
ootdontspatteredwemandanabundanceofthreatsandsecretlawsuitsgiveme
myRepublicbackyoulyingthievingbastardssuemenowbabyalltheyllreally
dointheendisturnthecountryintoonebigconcentrationcampgetoffmywave
foamyseasquirl
2005-11-23 20:37:40 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by Bugs
Ok, so the plot of this thing, as I grasp it, is that there's some
kind of hippy-dippy magickal bullshit scene in Seattle and you are all tight
with that.
Yeah, tight. I didn't get invited anywhere for Thanksgiving, mom included,
AND the Viking and his lass aren't answering my phone calls, my qbl teacher
always flakes when we invite him to go out and god knows what other fresh
hell but besides that, tight. You don't have to point out that it's because
I suck. I'm still going to the pagan pool party this weekend, even though
everyone probably hopes I won't. If I'd thought ahead and was a bigger jerk
I'd've made solomon pentacle Yule tree ornaments out of frosted glass and
glitter to sell. Hang them where the cat can't get them, that's all I can
say!
Post by Bugs
Except, of course, you're Layo and anti-social so you still
can't figure out the hobby/social life thing, so you're all paranoid.
Plus insomnia. Don't forget the insomnia. Yes, I knew having a social life
would be great. I sum it up like this: when you have sufficient money you
don't really need friends to have fun, and when you don't have any all of
your friends have something better to do. It's just like dating girls
except for you add "and can afford a whore" to the first part. Wow, why
hadn't I been interested in doing this for *so* *long* when it is so
profoundly soul-nurturing? Why oh why didn't I go into brothel madaming
when I had the chance: ~then~ I could afford to be lonely in a hot tub with
some whores. Oh I'd be popular then. Also, I'd have a bucket of diamonds
hanging around my neck.
Post by Bugs
Also
there's some dude up there that may or may not look sorta like me and also
have a similar birthday, and is therefore Mephistoclean (or so you hope)so
you're like double bonus paranoid and you think for some reason, that I am
not only plotting against you, but actually carrying out said plot somehow.
Also, mind rays.
Did I miss anything important?
That's the gist. I thought going crazy would feel nuttier somehow; it's
nothing like the other times, I can tell you that. Maybe I'm posting
poetry-blather and looney rants and don't know it. Chilling.

L
'my you're observant'
b***@my-deja.com
2005-11-23 22:51:56 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by foamyseasquirl
Yeah, tight. I didn't get invited anywhere for Thanksgiving, mom included,
AND the Viking and his lass aren't answering my phone calls, my qbl teacher
always flakes when we invite him to go out and god knows what other fresh
hell but besides that, tight.
The mistake you made was your eyes lit up when you heard the expression
"cuddle party". They were testing you, hon, and sadly you flunked it.
You needed the blank stare very badly in your repertoire at that moment
in time.

Feigned insouciance is the default maneuver for social climbing in the
00's.

(prononced ooze.)

But do not despair you will get another chance because soon they will
forget. Nobody notices that you are there, but persevere and some day
they may notice you are still there. Also if you are nice I will tell
you about my thanksgiving. I still have to decide which of the many
offers I am going to accept.

Ha hahahahaha <-jUST kiDDING

B.
Bugs
2005-11-25 13:07:06 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by b***@my-deja.com
Post by foamyseasquirl
Yeah, tight. I didn't get invited anywhere for Thanksgiving, mom included,
AND the Viking and his lass aren't answering my phone calls, my qbl teacher
always flakes when we invite him to go out and god knows what other fresh
hell but besides that, tight.
The mistake you made was your eyes lit up when you heard the expression
"cuddle party". They were testing you, hon, and sadly you flunked it.
You needed the blank stare very badly in your repertoire at that moment
in time.
Feigned insouciance is the default maneuver for social climbing in the
00's.
(prononced ooze.)
But do not despair you will get another chance because soon they will
forget. Nobody notices that you are there, but persevere and some day
they may notice you are still there. Also if you are nice I will tell
you about my thanksgiving. I still have to decide which of the many
offers I am going to accept.
Ha hahahahaha <-jUST kiDDING
If you were short for Turkey day boy, you should said something.
I got a ton a food.

ash
['Oh, well.']
--
"We shoulda drank th' cognac an' walked to git gas."
*****************************************************************
Riven against a Black Sun twosixone ...that which we are, we are.
ootdontspatteredwemandanabundanceofthreatsandsecretlawsuitsgiveme
myRepublicbackyoulyingthievingbastardssuemenowbabyalltheyllreally
dointheendisturnthecountryintoonebigconcentrationcampgetoffmywave
Bugs
2005-11-25 13:14:09 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by foamyseasquirl
Yeah, tight. I didn't get invited anywhere for Thanksgiving, mom included,
AND the Viking and his lass aren't answering my phone calls, my qbl teacher
always flakes when we invite him to go out and god knows what other fresh
hell but besides that, tight.
Well, sorry. I'm guessing yer magickal freak people don't much do
the turkey thing. Or, they have nice cozy families they don't want to
corrupt.
Post by foamyseasquirl
You don't have to point out that it's because I suck.
I doubt that has anything to do with it. Except perhaps in the choice
of 'scene'.
Post by foamyseasquirl
I'm still going to the pagan pool party this weekend, even though
everyone probably hopes I won't. If I'd thought ahead and was a bigger jerk
I'd've made solomon pentacle Yule tree ornaments out of frosted glass and
glitter to sell. Hang them where the cat can't get them, that's all I can
say!
I think perhaps you take the magick thing more seriously than they
do.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Except, of course, you're Layo and anti-social so you still
can't figure out the hobby/social life thing, so you're all paranoid.
Plus insomnia. Don't forget the insomnia.
Ok.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Yes, I knew having a social life
would be great. I sum it up like this: when you have sufficient money you
don't really need friends to have fun,
I'd tend to disagree with that.
Post by foamyseasquirl
and when you don't have any all of
your friends have something better to do.
I'd tend to agree with that tho.
Post by foamyseasquirl
It's just like dating girls
See previous sentence. Who runs the social scene, kid?
Post by foamyseasquirl
except for you add "and can afford a whore" to the first part. Wow, why
hadn't I been interested in doing this for *so* *long* when it is so
profoundly soul-nurturing?
Flaky poseurs that claim to make it rain are not the most reliable
of people.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Why oh why didn't I go into brothel madaming
when I had the chance: ~then~ I could afford to be lonely in a hot tub with
some whores. Oh I'd be popular then.
No doubt. Also, more trouble than you'd want.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Also, I'd have a bucket of diamonds hanging around my neck.
If that's what does it for ye.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Post by Bugs
Also
there's some dude up there that may or may not look sorta like me and also
have a similar birthday, and is therefore Mephistoclean (or so you hope)so
you're like double bonus paranoid and you think for some reason, that I am
not only plotting against you, but actually carrying out said plot somehow.
Also, mind rays.
Did I miss anything important?
That's the gist. I thought going crazy would feel nuttier somehow; it's
nothing like the other times, I can tell you that.
Merely some minor, or maybe major paranoia.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Maybe I'm posting
poetry-blather and looney rants and don't know it. Chilling.
L
'my you're observant'
Hey! I can READ! It's NEAT! Next up: WRITING!

ash
['I have no idea who this other dude is.']
--
"We shoulda drank th' cognac an' walked to git gas."
*****************************************************************
Riven against a Black Sun twosixone ...that which we are, we are.
ootdontspatteredwemandanabundanceofthreatsandsecretlawsuitsgiveme
myRepublicbackyoulyingthievingbastardssuemenowbabyalltheyllreally
dointheendisturnthecountryintoonebigconcentrationcampgetoffmywave
i***@gmail.com
2015-03-06 03:53:37 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by Bugs
Am I making your life a living hell? I thought that was Ilya.
Eh?

I've had nothing to do with Layo for years. I am afraid to say anything to her at all lest it get me accused of being abusive.

I have respect for you, but I do not have respect for you threatening to kill Layo or claiming her to be a lunatic. Accusations of abuse against me are totally false; which is more than can be said for some other people.
i***@gmail.com
2015-03-06 04:01:24 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by Bugs
Am I making your life a living hell? I thought that was Ilya.
Eh?

I've had nothing to do with Layo for years. I am afraid to say anything to her at all lest it get me accused of being abusive.

I have respect for you, but I do not have respect for you threatening to kill Layo or claiming her to be a lunatic. That actually is abuse for real.
Buzzard
2005-11-20 05:22:17 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
(snip) The proof that
I'm a girl is this: three pairs of boots abruptly rekindled my will to live.
There you go.
iF you were a giant tarantula, you'd be able to wear
FOur pairs of boots at the same time :)
(snip)
that I'm A-list poly. I will only be poly with people who are way too good
for me! Take that, ironic universe.
Out East, there doesn't seem to be much poly,
just serial monogamists. Someone I used to work
with was 21 and about to marry for the third time.
--
Buzzard, still looking for a place to land
(its not the having, its the getting??)
Epizoot Wilkins
2015-01-11 17:07:37 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by foamyseasquirl
Livejournal won't let me make entries yet (updating something) so I
guess you guys are stuck with this post.
Well, it's my Venus return, and it happened. See, Venus loves me. Not
like you schmucks, whom she sees on the street and ducks into a doorway
to avoid.
It being that the leather boots of my dreams have arrived. The proof
that I'm a girl is this: three pairs of boots abruptly rekindled my
will to live. There you go. I have a black and a white pair of heeled
boots that go to mid-calf, and also a black pair, which goes to the
knee, and has bouncy rubber souls, and faux fur, and bomber-jacket
leather, so it looks like a James Bond spy version of Russian military
boots. The latter pair I wore out last night, and I have the white
ones on now. Leathery leathery yum.
Then, taken with my own beauty (in fabulous boots, a short skirt and a
tight top with all the hooks undone) Steve and I went to see his friend
from California at her booksigning. She was already at the bar across
the street when we showed up, drinking with a crowd, so we joined them
($2 wells! I had ~three~) and it turns out that the sexy witch theme
of her publication was also the theme of the party that was forming.
Especially once the loud alcoholic left. Her husband was extremely
hot, and she was born the same year I was and has natural red hair, and
it was a whole thing. Just when I think I'm completely repulsed by
open relationships and sex with strangers, I actually meet (by
accident) a couple that I like. (I rarely am interested in men,
first-impressionwise, or women, continuing-interactionwise.) Now on
the other hand, when I *do* think I'm being open-minded I meet nothing
but horny, pushy cows and ugly old men, and there is no way I'm going
to be openly poly during introductions such as these. So what I've
decided is that I'm A-list poly. I will only be poly with people who
are way too good for me! Take that, ironic universe. I'm all things
to everyone and still don't have to do anything but whatever I feel
like, plus I've always wanted to be a stuck-up elitist, and now I
finally am.
That's my style anyway, staring silently at people who are totally out
of reach, which is obviously the way I like it or I'd be doing
something else. Gratification is so crude. Not-going-for-it play is my
kink so respect it and let me be over here glancing sidelong not going
for it. At least it's not porn. _That_would be _disrespectful_ to
human _dignity_, or whatever.
Paranoia update: some OTO chick said "c'est magnifique" last night,
right out of the blue, like a person who reads my posts might say.
Attention sekrit societies: nobody's scared of you so give it up. Also
I'm not putting out unless you're way too good for me so work on it.
You'll know by how I don't talk to you while always seeming happy to
see you, or sort of horrified if you're really ultra hot.
L
'you had me at "I'm from out of town"'
Add me to your lits
Leturos
2015-02-27 01:30:59 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by foamyseasquirl
Livejournal won't let me make entries yet (updating something) so I guess
you guys are stuck with this post.
I was just thinking about LiveJournal. I figured the Dabey might remember
that I once had a Live Journal. It was great! Then I killed it. I was not
as balanced then as I am now. I had better balance though and maybe there
were some other things I was better at then but I am not supposed to tell
anyone about them. It is a good thing that I am unable to access memories
of those times, whenever they were. whoever inhabited this body WAS evil!
Post by foamyseasquirl
Well, it's my Venus return, and it happened. See, Venus loves me. Not like
you schmucks, whom she sees on the street and ducks into a doorway to avoid.
It being that the leather boots of my dreams have arrived. The proof that
I'm a girl is this: three pairs of boots abruptly rekindled my will to live.
Have you read the book series, one the author and a film maker we love or
hate or fail to do either. Yes, that one. The horrible insult that memory
haunts me with each day, or at least once every couple of years. A moment
of pride. A little one, a blue car, a comment about how the likes and the
dislikes of the one who epitomized the sexual side ... perhaps there is a
reason I am not sharing, with many anyway, why I am thinking of those few
words, so long ago. Was it before plush? Before Perl met pearl in a spurt
that tore into the fabric at another point, a new rent that will continue
to leak that which literally, in a figurative sense, was flushed from the
center, and it is all center, ending the time of, the end of time, we all
should shout that it is the time of the end of the time. Woman singing in
throaty voices: "come on come on, come on oh" and the deep voices, the it
within and around the i, not transcendent, it is near, it is past and the
question has been answered many times. The answer is: no but when that is
a part it is not the part shared with its part for you. The puzzles; love
is kind, the struggles, this is the time to pass your time with me. There
may be another time, this won't be the last time that a house that lacked cockles and dimes, a time of dancing, a time of death rebirth whether ...
Post by foamyseasquirl
There you go. I have a black and a white pair of heeled boots that go to
mid-calf, and also a black pair, which goes to the knee, and has bouncy
rubber souls, and faux fur, and bomber-jacket leather, so it looks like a
James Bond spy version of Russian military boots. The latter pair I wore
out last night, and I have the white ones on now. Leathery leathery yum.
What do the cowboys represent? gentle, resonant, filling and flowing from
there to where. Do we get large or does it all get small, a rubber bouncy
ball, a pattern, a pattern in the air, the life we gave, the one we made.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Then, taken with my own beauty (in fabulous boots, a short skirt and a tight
top with all the hooks undone) Steve and I went to see his friend from
California at her booksigning. She was already at the bar across the street
when we showed up, drinking with a crowd, so we joined them ($2 wells! I
had ~three~) and it turns out that the sexy witch theme of her publication
was also the theme of the party that was forming. Especially once the loud
alcoholic left. Her husband was extremely hot, and she was born the same
year I was and has natural red hair, and it was a whole thing. Just when I
think I'm completely repulsed by open relationships and sex with strangers,
I actually meet (by accident) a couple that I like. (I rarely am interested
in men, first-impressionwise, or women, continuing-interactionwise.) Now on
the other hand, when I *do* think I'm being open-minded I meet nothing but
horny, pushy cows and ugly old men, and there is no way I'm going to be
openly poly during introductions such as these. So what I've decided is
that I'm A-list poly. I will only be poly with people who are way too good
for me! Take that, ironic universe. I'm all things to everyone and still
don't have to do anything but whatever I feel like, plus I've always wanted
to be a stuck-up elitist, and now I finally am.
That's my style anyway, staring silently at people who are totally out of
reach, which is obviously the way I like it or I'd be doing something else.
Gratification is so crude. Not-going-for-it play is my kink so respect it
and let me be over here glancing sidelong not going for it. At least it's
not porn. _That_would be _disrespectful_ to human _dignity_, or whatever.
Paranoia update: some OTO chick said "c'est magnifique" last night, right
out of the blue, like a person who reads my posts might say. Attention
sekrit societies: nobody's scared of you so give it up. Also I'm not
putting out unless you're way too good for me so work on it. You'll know by
how I don't talk to you while always seeming happy to see you, or sort of
horrified if you're really ultra hot.
L
'you had me at "I'm from out of town"'
Epizoot Wilkins
2015-03-01 22:38:31 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by Leturos
Post by foamyseasquirl
Livejournal won't let me make entries yet (updating something) so I guess
you guys are stuck with this post.
I was just thinking about LiveJournal. I figured the Dabey might remember
that I once had a Live Journal. It was great! Then I killed it. I was not
as balanced then as I am now. I had better balance though and maybe there
were some other things I was better at then but I am not supposed to tell
anyone about them. It is a good thing that I am unable to access memories
of those times, whenever they were. whoever inhabited this body WAS evil!
Post by foamyseasquirl
Well, it's my Venus return, and it happened. See, Venus loves me. Not like
you schmucks, whom she sees on the street and ducks into a doorway to avoid.
It being that the leather boots of my dreams have arrived. The proof that
I'm a girl is this: three pairs of boots abruptly rekindled my will to live.
Have you read the book series, one the author and a film maker we love or
hate or fail to do either. Yes, that one. The horrible insult that memory
haunts me with each day, or at least once every couple of years. A moment
of pride. A little one, a blue car, a comment about how the likes and the
dislikes of the one who epitomized the sexual side ... perhaps there is a
reason I am not sharing, with many anyway, why I am thinking of those few
words, so long ago. Was it before plush? Before Perl met pearl in a spurt
that tore into the fabric at another point, a new rent that will continue
to leak that which literally, in a figurative sense, was flushed from the
center, and it is all center, ending the time of, the end of time, we all
should shout that it is the time of the end of the time. Woman singing in
throaty voices: "come on come on, come on oh" and the deep voices, the it
within and around the i, not transcendent, it is near, it is past and the
question has been answered many times. The answer is: no but when that is
a part it is not the part shared with its part for you. The puzzles; love
is kind, the struggles, this is the time to pass your time with me. There
may be another time, this won't be the last time that a house that
lacked cockles and dimes, a time of dancing, a time of death rebirth
whether ...
Post by foamyseasquirl
There you go. I have a black and a white pair of heeled boots that go to
mid-calf, and also a black pair, which goes to the knee, and has bouncy
rubber souls, and faux fur, and bomber-jacket leather, so it looks like a
James Bond spy version of Russian military boots. The latter pair I wore
out last night, and I have the white ones on now. Leathery leathery yum.
What do the cowboys represent? gentle, resonant, filling and flowing from
there to where. Do we get large or does it all get small, a rubber bouncy
ball, a pattern, a pattern in the air, the life we gave, the one we made.
Post by foamyseasquirl
Then, taken with my own beauty (in fabulous boots, a short skirt and a tight
top with all the hooks undone) Steve and I went to see his friend from
California at her booksigning. She was already at the bar across the street
when we showed up, drinking with a crowd, so we joined them ($2 wells! I
had ~three~) and it turns out that the sexy witch theme of her publication
was also the theme of the party that was forming. Especially once the loud
alcoholic left. Her husband was extremely hot, and she was born the same
year I was and has natural red hair, and it was a whole thing. Just when I
think I'm completely repulsed by open relationships and sex with strangers,
I actually meet (by accident) a couple that I like. (I rarely am interested
in men, first-impressionwise, or women, continuing-interactionwise.) Now on
the other hand, when I *do* think I'm being open-minded I meet nothing but
horny, pushy cows and ugly old men, and there is no way I'm going to be
openly poly during introductions such as these. So what I've decided is
that I'm A-list poly. I will only be poly with people who are way too good
for me! Take that, ironic universe. I'm all things to everyone and still
don't have to do anything but whatever I feel like, plus I've always wanted
to be a stuck-up elitist, and now I finally am.
That's my style anyway, staring silently at people who are totally out of
reach, which is obviously the way I like it or I'd be doing something else.
Gratification is so crude. Not-going-for-it play is my kink so respect it
and let me be over here glancing sidelong not going for it. At least it's
not porn. _That_would be _disrespectful_ to human _dignity_, or whatever.
Paranoia update: some OTO chick said "c'est magnifique" last night, right
out of the blue, like a person who reads my posts might say. Attention
sekrit societies: nobody's scared of you so give it up. Also I'm not
putting out unless you're way too good for me so work on it. You'll know by
how I don't talk to you while always seeming happy to see you, or sort of
horrified if you're really ultra hot.
L
'you had me at "I'm from out of town"'
This post sucked.
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