2007-03-01 20:05:13 UTC
on the email and vmail that HR left me at eight frigging o'clock
this morning. 'Fantastic news' can't really mean much else.
Shit shit shit shit shit.
This is the part where I realize that my ego is not actually
bigger than my desire for freedom. It's nice to be asked to the
dance, true, but it would have been nicer still to not be faced
with the task of making a 'responsible' decision. Worse yet, I
must now begin the tedious negotiation process. I have a few
demands of them, and I suppose my only hope at this point is that
said demands may be viewed as entirely insane at which point I
would feel justified in passing.
Is there some way I can feel justified in passing anyway? I fear
not. I do have another offer that would start up in June. But;
a bird in the hand. Besides which, I'm quite certain working for
that person would be just as bad as the situation I'm considering
now, so it's really a frying pan fire deal. And alas, the
reality is that I do need a stable job in the near-ish future.
Assuming R continues his sobriety and we stay together, it's
never been practical for me not to work. And assuming he does
not continue his sobriety and we do not stay together, it's even
more urgent for me to have a gig with which I can easily support
myself. The realization that I was not prepared to do that when
the shit hit the fan last year was the creepiest feeling ever
and one I'm damn well not feeling again. I'm sick to death of
drunk men and don't want another bar job, and while some
secretarial support position would be a lot less stressful the
mental sloth and living directly under boss thumb would drive me
nuts in about two months. I have considered taking the CBEST and
getting my teaching certification, but I've known enough
California teachers to know that that is strictly a greener grass
scenario. Good on paper, torturous in reality. I've also
considered going back to school to get a masters and do something
in psych, but deep down I know I'm not sufficiently motivated
No, as straight jobs go, this one wouldn't be all bad. Good
health insurance. Gym downstairs. Somewhat flexible hours. No
commute. Office with a view.